Higurashi Zoo
by thorsgirl
Summary: (One-shot) Welcome to higurashi Zoo, we've got loads of animals for you. dogs and wolves and toads, oh my! and our cute little entertainers to show you why you don't mess with the animals in Higurashi Zoo


I do not own Inuyasha, and hopefully Higurashi Zoo does not exist so I won't have to put a disclaimer on it. And so it's known, I also know nothing about Ayame except the fact that Kouga's supposed to be with her and promised to be with her first… And all that other random good stuff. ;)

I got the idea of this from… well, I dunno where I got the idea for this. My friend was asking me about how to make a story… and then the wonderful (dun dun duuun) HIGURASHI ZOO popped up! 

Me: *smiles* Ooh, INU-CHAN, come HEERRREEEE!!!!!

Inu-chan: NO! I am NOT going to that blasted zoo!

Me: Kagome?

Kagome: SIT!!!

Me: Gag him, gag him! Grab and run! Let's go! 

****

Higurashi Zoo

"Welcome to Higurashi Zoo, where we had so many animals that we didn't know what to do!" Sango shouted. "So my friend here," she patted Kagome on the back, "put a collar on them and decided to share them with you!"

"Tours available! Sign u for tours over here!" Miroku shouted. "Men, $5, Children, $2.50, older women, $3, women 16-30, bear my child!"

"Miroku!" Kagome screamed. Sango and a horde of angry boyfriends loomed in Miroku's face.

"I mean… all women $3! He he… he," he said nervously.

"Well, everybody!" Rin cried. "Let us begin the tour!"

-first stop-

"**_This_**," Kagome began, "is the famous Inuyasha. Don't let his name fool you, though. Inuyasha's a male _HALF_ dog demon, not a female dog full demon." Inuyasha snarled and tried to leap at her.

"Why you bi-" Inuyasha began.

"SIT!!!"

"As you see," Rin began, "the famous Inuyasha CAN be subdued... by her and ONLY her. And the stone-cold looking one back there is my Lord Sesshoumaru-sama. He is Inuyasha's FULL demon brother. Oh, my Sesshy-sama! *gets hearts in eyes* *everyone stares and backs away slowly* Well *ahem* on to the 'things.'"

"These are Jaken and Naraku. Naraku's the feminine bad guy that likes insane amounts of pink no matter what shade. Also explains him liking the Shikon no Tama. See the baboon pelt? That's his disguise. He wouldn't be able to survive if it weren't for the pink on the inside of it," Miroku explained. ""And that toad-thing over there is Jaken. He is gay and is Sesshoumaru's slave doing everything for the one he wants to love him. Though, no-can-do, Sesshoumaru's taken. Enough said? Yes."

"Now on to the wolves. These are Ginta and Hakkaku. They are ever faithful to their wolf prince. This is the leader of the tribe, Prince Kouga. He says Kagome is his woman. Everyone knows that's just a bluff to get Inuyasha insanely mad and the chic he promised to be with, jealous. And this is Ayame, the chic that Kouga'd promised to be with. She's really cool and nice, and helps us kick Kouga's butt sometimes as a favor for all the stupid stuff he did. MUAH HA HA!" Sango saw all the people looking at her like she was crazy. "I mean, she's a really nice, cool chic and loves fun in the sun!"

"Well, now, everyone, that is the end of our tour. We hope you stay for the entertainment," Kagome said.

-entertainment arena (… thingy… whatever ya wanna call it)-

"Well, here they are, the famous kitsune SHIPPO and the firecat KIRARA," Rin announced.

The crowd was silent.

"Chirp!"

"Somebody shut that cricket UP! And applaud, for crying out loud!" Kagome screamed, finally losing her patience with the evil crowd.

*applause* 

"Better." She sighed.

Kirara and Shippo started doing the Macarena. Then they decided to breakdance and a tribal dance among other random things. Finally, Shippo ended with I Want Candy by Aaron Carter. The audience applauded for fear of Kagome's wrath.

As everyone left after the show, people could be heard yelling profanities at the crazy chic that wanted them to applaud. Several girls tried to take Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, and Kouga home, but Kagome, Rin, and Ayame almost burnt them to a crisp. No one touched Miroku. They still remembered the incident from the beginning when he was talking about payment for the tour.

"Come again!" Kagome called.

"Weirdo!!!" someone shouted back at her. Inuyasha had to restrain her from killing anyone and everyone.

"Well, everyone, what will we do with all this money that we collected form this… zoo-thingy?" Miroku asked.

Kagome's eyes lit up. "Girls! Huddle time!" They began whispering in one corner. 

All of the guys except for Miroku and Shippo, who had no clue what was going on (Miroku didn't have the ears and Shippo didn't understand), groaned audibly. "Anything but **that**, Kagome!" Inuyasha wailed.

"Shopping!" Rin squealed.

"And, as payment for you behavior earlier!" Kagome began.

"**_WE GET TO DRESS YOU GUYS UP!!!!!!!!!!_**" Ayame and Sango screamed together.

"**NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**" All the guys began screaming for their mommies and so on and so forth.

"He he heee," Rin smirked evilly. Sesshoumaru gulped. "Sesshy-sama… when we get done with your makeup… You guys can help us get Jaken and Naraku! WA HA!"

"Oh yes, what a fun day this turned out to be," Shippo said. Kirara mewed in agreement.

****

FIN

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So, you all like?


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